A Legacy

I have been doing a lot of thinking recently about families and legacies. My in laws celebrated 50 years of marriage this past weekend. At the dinner celebrating their anniversary I thought alot about family legacy and dynamics. 

In one room was The matriarch of the family Margaret Mercer. I don't think anyone that meets her,would argue she is one of the most godly women on this planet. She is genuine and loving and would do anything in the world for you. Well until you mess with one of her kids or grandkids then she is a feisty little thing. 

She accepted me as a Granddaughter immediately.  I will never forget at my lingerie shower she was the one who gave me the naughtiest nighty. 

When Gary died she was the first person that talked to me as one widow to another and that gave me this amazing sense of belonging. 

She is a neat lady she grew up in the depression so she tends not to throw much away. Gary would smile when we visited because he would find a card that he made her from elementary school. She adores her family and it shows. 

Then there were Gary's parents still going strong after 50 years of marriage. In todays world 50 is a reason to celebrate. 

They spent their lives pouring into their boys that started to arrive not too long into their marriage. Dad worked tirelessly to financially provide and his Mom stayed home and raised the boys. They decided that Mom needed to be there when the boys came home from school and be available to be room mother and such.  

They took family vacations and made sure they all connected around the dinner table. When the boys moved out Mom would make hand written recipe boxes for the boys and Dad got Gary a tool box with the basics in it. They led by example of how to love your spouse and your kids. 

Gary laughed that there was even times when Dad would look at the boys and say, "This is how you DON'T be a husband or Dad" They had three boys who all turned out to be professional men with wonderful families of their own. Two computer programmers and a Vice Principal. 

Gary took the lessons he learned from his parents and developed into an amazing partner and Father. So amazing I cannot fathom ever marrying another man because no one would even compare with him. My girls have a picture in their head of what kind of man they want to marry because of their Daddy. Knowing they are going to hold out to find a man as wonderful as their Daddy makes me want to hug and all the people that influenced him. 

As a Mom  I do the best that I can and hope the therapy bills wont add up to too much. Reality wise sometimes I feel like I am making zero progress and will undoubtedly screw my children up for life. I look at the complete picture of the Schriver-Mercer family and I see a bunch of imperfect people putting in a hundred percent of love and the end result has been a legacy that will love on well past any of us. The things that as a parent we worry about most are not that important in the long run. 

I know my girls will remember the trip to the dollar store in Great Grandma's car for the rest of their lives. I know I will remember not having two nickels to rub together and Grandma Mercer taking us out to lunch when we visited.

 I will remember just about dropping from exhaustion and Gary's mom camping out in his room for a night so I could get more than an hour sleep. 

How Dad brought Gary over to the house without me and sat him down and promised to look after the girls and I in case the worst and then keeping his promise. 

Having the privilege of seeing the big picture in the Schrivers made me appreciate my parents as well. It makes me sad to think that my kids did not get to meet their Great Grands on my side of the family. They were a colorful bunch. 

But on Memorial Day I think back on my Dad who worked the last few months of his life getting all the paperwork together to be buried in Arlington. He told me that if nothing else his Grandkids and Great grandkids can visit Arlington with school or on vacation and be proud to tell their friends that they have a Grandfather buried here, it will give them a legacy to be proud of. That conversation is why my sister and I worked so hard for my brother to be buried there as well. 

Families are not perfect and they take many shapes and sizes but it is such an amazing thing to see how God can take a Man and a Woman and turn their love into a legacy that lasts a lot longer then they will. 

I smile to think of families in my Church. This year will be my 20th year at my church (I feel old now).I first knew the Grandparents and Parents of the family and then watched their children grow form children to teens to adults now with their own families. I got to witness parents who weeped over children who began to stray then got to celebrate when those children came back and now are amazing adults. 

God is so amazing to grant us the privilege of being able to influence generations. Max Lucado compared our lives to Haley's comet. We are unique and only come along once in a lifetime and we make an indelible mark our surroundings. 

I am in the middle of redefining myself and what it is to be a family for my girls. I hope that as God walks me through the redefinition of who I am our family unit will be redefined as well and the amazing legacy that began a hundred years ago with Godly people leading simple lives and loving their families will last far past the time I am long gone.

Happy Memorial Day..