I have really stunk at keeping up this Blog lately, I am sorry. The last few months I have been going through a lot of emotions and fighting with God over some stuff.

Back in August after leaving church I felt like God said, "How do you feel about moving?" That took me by surprise. From that moment that God put that thought in my head. The house and the area that had been giving me comfort began to almost smother me. I realized that I couldn't even sit in a parking lot around the corner without being barraged by painful memories.

God started my mind to wandering and I looked into several areas that were job hot spots for someone with a communication degree. I looked into Canada but it is Canada and I am a Florida girl. I would like to visit but I don't think I want to live there.

Then I looked at New York, again I really want to visit there especially at Christmas but live there? Nah. Then I looked at Los Angeles. I immediately blew that off, I am not a young skinny beautiful thing, I am not a person who will be a yes man to some self absorbed movie producer ( I know I am stereotyping big time. I am just trying to be honest here) and living in LA as a single mom with three teenage daughters 2000 miles away from any family, ah no.

My mind wouldn't leave California. One day on the way home from Church (Cathartic moments always happen on the way home from church) I randomly asked the girls, "So what would you think if I told you we were moving to California?" I was fully expecting wailing and gnashing of teeth but they all perked up and answered, "REALLY, when can we go?"

I rolled my eyes at God at that point because on the inside I was telling God that I could never rip the girls away from what they have known their entire life and put them in a situation where I was working full time and they were on their own in a strange place. They would never go for that. Turns out, they were feeling the same things I was feeling. The things that once brought us comfort were feeling more like weights around our neck keeping us from moving forward.

When I say moving forward I will NEVER forget Gary. He was my everything, when he died he took a good chunk of my heart with him. I also know that he wanted more than anything else for me to LIVE and use the gifts that God placed in me. His last real conversation with me was speaking over me what he felt like God was calling me to do and speaking a blessing over the man that God had to take his place has head of the house. He told me to that he saw me becoming a writer and sharing my story with groups and he told me that I had a cache of giftings inside of me that I haven't even begun to touch yet and God was going to birth those giftings out and it will be such an amazing surprise. He also spoke over tha man that would take his position as head of the house one day and said "May he be so loved by the girls that they want him to walk them down the isle" then he gave a blessing for my benefit to this unknown person. :)


Okay let me come back on track from my little bunny trail. California was always on my mind so I started for grins and giggles to look at apartments in LA. Nothing stuck my fancy at least not at the price I could comprehend paying. I could find a bunch for 10 million dollars but who couldn't :)

God led Cassie and I to a small town not to far outside of LA called Rancho Cucamonga (silly name). This is a small planned community at the base of the mountains. They even have their own youtube channel with there own theme song. One of the desires I had was an apartment in a gated community. I found one in Rancho with the bedrooms that we needed and the price we could afford. The community has family pizza nights where you can get pizzas at the main office, movie nights and even their very own Relay for Life. This place looks like it was created from my dream list of apartments.

The girls and I fell in love with the apartment and the community and the area around it. Before we knew it we were envisioning bringing visitors to the outside fireplace and they have all ready decorated their rooms. It was a perfect match for us.

Now comes the hard part finding a job and watching God meet the list of about a dozen things that will have to happen to be able to move. Our home will always be here, family is here and our church family is here but all of us feel like to continue to grow and move forward we have to make some drastic changes in our life.

The plan is to finish college this next summer and then look for a job and move us to California by fall of 2014. That is the plan we made, God's plans can be very different. I feel like this is a plan from God but I am open and so are the girls for anything that God may have for us. I do know that 2014 is a year of change for a lot of people. As we have contemplated change I have found many of my friends tell me that there is change on the horizon for them as well.

I was never a big fan of change. Since Gary died my whole life has been one big change. I am scared but I am also excited. I can picture Gary standing beside us cheering us on. I know that even if he was alive and God wanted me to move for my career he would pack up and move in a minute.

My career that leads me to the last point in this post. I spent a bunch of time while we were recently at Disney World thinking about a question Cassie asked me. She got frustrated with my wishy washy answers and asked me, "What do you want to do with your life, really want to do for a job?" Communications majors have a pretty wide range of job possibilities  but what do I want. I managed to write out a list and a mission statement of exactly what I want. Now we have purpose, we have direction and a place to call home once we get there now we are waiting on the GO from God.

Oh and I have to update you all on my Radio show, I am up to SEVEN shows that all run about 90 minutes each. I have had so much FUN with this radio show. I cant tell you how cool it has been, I look forward to having them throughout the Christmas season. I also had someone recognize me for my writing in the Ponte Vedra and Atlantic beach living magazine. I had a smile on my face all day after that. Still finishing playing email tag with my publisher but the book will be out in 2014 as well. All these things that I always wished I could one day do I am doing them and I am so excited. I still struggle with almost paralyzing nerves but I have a lot of close friends that tell me to get over myself and go for it. It is so amazing to start to live out dreams. 2014 is going to hold so much for the girls and I.

I hope you weren't to shocked over this announcement. We as always covet your prayers. With great change comes great trials and great nerves. I don't want to miss one thing that God has for the girls and I because I am afraid. I want to be cautious and make right choices because hey it just isn't my life I will screw up here. I don't want fear to stop us from having all the blessings God has for us, I feel like he has put dreams inside of me and I cannot wait to see those dreams become our reality.


Life 2.0 it is a God thing ( the logo Merry came up with for us.)