Recreating Cindy

In July I was a happily married woman with joint checking accounts everything in my life was done as a pair. Then August 2nd I had to tell my sweet husband goodbye as he lost his battle with bone and live cancer. All of the sudden this perfect partnership was now a single and in the next month my bank made me change my checking accounts from joint to single and I had to get a credit card on my own and this past weekend I had to buy a car on my own. That has been on top of parenting on my own and making decisions on my own. We would talk about everything we made a joint choice about dinner I mean we were one in every since. In the last three months I have had to mourn my husband and begin a process that may be even more difficult and that is the redefinition of me..I spent the weekend after a tree fell on my old car looking toward heaven asking God why oh why did He take Gary I need him HERE so bad I cant handle all these things without his help. I could almost hear Gary tell me "the girl I married couldn't handle this life but the woman I left is doing a great Job". I use to tell Gary the thing that meant more than any gold or silver was him telling me that he was proud of me and now more than ever I am going to embrace this process of redefinition and hopefully build on the foundation of confidence and love that Gary built and rebuild Cindy in a way that will make Gary grab my face when I get to heaven like he used to and tell me that he is so very proud of me. I also cannot wait to hear God say well done good and faithful.